


Realisoitua

by Jocazzi



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: F/M, Gen, Inner Dialogue, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 08:39:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19103605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jocazzi/pseuds/Jocazzi
Summary: The events of the comet may have led to Snufkin's best summer ever. When he finds himself away from Moominvalley and alone with his own thoughts, he comes to a realization that may change everything for him. // Oneshot? Snufkin finds out he has feelings for a certain someone and it's a little sad.





	Realisoitua

**Author's Note:**

> This oneshot was written in two parts. They are kept divided because I believe it helps with the flow (but they're also to short for their own chapters)
> 
> Please enjoy!

PART 1

"She's a very pretty girl."

Snufkin smiled as he watched the moomin's face light up in interest after he explained about Snorkmaiden.

Yes, he thought, love is certainly a better thought to have than a comet collision. 

\---

Snufkin could see that Snorkmaiden was now on Moomintroll's mind more than the comet, especially as they entered the observatory and talked to the astrophysicists. He was just about as curious of the girl with the ankle bracelet and love of flowers as he was of the comet heading towards the Earth. He was so focused he hardly seem to blink an eye at the impending doom much like himself. 

He couldn't be completely sure if it was his involvement in planting the idea into his mind that helped Moomintroll or if the other would have always been this brave during the whole calamity; they had only just met recently but the young traveler could tell a lot about the troll when they first met. He knew Moomintroll was a kind and gentle soul just from looking into his eyes.

He was also very brave. The way Moomintroll went running at Snorkmaiden's cries for help without hesitation. How he didn't hesitate when Snufkin tossed him his switchblade, going in and cutting the plant's bulbs off until it stopped attacking.

All these heroic and kind actions certainly earned him Snorkmaiden's affections. 

Having met Moomin led Snufkin getting to know so many other interesting people as well. Sure, Sniff and Little My were annoying at times, but they had their moments in small doses. Moominpappa and Moominmamma were so very pleasant as well and welcomed him into their home with open arms.

The adventuring and fun didn't stop once the comet had passed by either. On many days over the rest of summer, Snufkin found himself spending plenty of time with Moomin and his friends. So much so, it was almost mid-fall when he finally decided he needed to leave. He said his goodbye to Moomin when the other visited his tent (he had moved to just to the side of the bridge Moominpappa had built, which had made for a pleasant spot to fish and play his harmonica). Moomin looked so sad as the traveler wished him farewell, and with no hesitation, he assured the other he would return by spring. He would travel south for the winter and return to Moominvalley once the cold was gone; he had grown to enjoy the picturesque valley.

After finishing their goodbyes and taking the time to reflect one last time on the beautiful changing landscape, Snufkin found himself once again walking alone on the forest path.

He felt serene and happy as he listened to the birdsong and the winds through the branches. As he walked, his mind trailed back to the time spent in Moominvalley. The singing frogs they had found in the creek, the rare blue and gold butterfly they tracked down with the Hemulen; the day when the beach was covered in driftwood had been particularly interesting for him.

His thoughts drifted to how Moomin was always so curious and how it made him so good at looking for things with. His eagerness and enjoyment of the stories and information Snufkin shared with him. And when he moved that particularly large piece of driftwood all on his own strength was impressive. 

In addition, there were those moments where he and Moomin got to spend time with one another with no one else around. Small moments like when Moomin would come out to listen to him play his harmonica on the bridge. Speaking to one another in the morning before anyone else got up. Standing together that fateful day after the comet passed and watching the sea roll back in. 

These memories rolled past him leisurely as he stopped to make camp. They buzzed happily in his head as he ate his soup and cleaned his bowl. As he laid himself to rest, the memories laid over him warmly like his blanket.

Even in his sleep, he saw Moomintroll. They were alone and happy. They sat together on the bridge like many times before, Snufkin with his fishing pole patiently waiting for a nibble and Moomin slowly swinging his legs over the edge. Snufkin reached out for the tin of bait beside him and their hands met. A pause, and then their fingers intertwined, naturally. They looked up at each other, not speaking. And then they leaned towards one another, their noses about to touch.

Snufkin awoke with a yelp. He struggled for a moment to get free from his blanket, breathing hard like he had been running for much to long. He sat up quickly and was met with only the familiar view of the inside of his tent. All green. No white. 

That dream. Him and Moomin...

Oh. Oh no…

 

PART 2

Snufkin had never felt like this before. It was like a boulder laying on his chest. It affected his walk; before he knew it a cold bitter wind was nipping at his heels. He had already started his journey south late this year and now winter was threatening to catch him before he could escape its boundaries. His trek wasn’t just affected, his lethargic movements made his meals last longer and his tent set up take a good part of the morning. The harmonica remained undisturbed since the moment of his realization. He was in a fog of his own anguish. 

He didn’t just like Moomintroll– he liked-liked him. Such an epiphany should lead anyone to feeling lighter than air, perhaps even with an urge to face the North wind and return to the one their feelings were for. Snufkin was left in a situation he felt stuck in like layers of mud, with one more stickier and hard to wriggle out then the next.

Moomintroll. Why him. 

Moomintroll already liked Snorkmaiden. It was cruel fate that it was Snufkin who led them to meet in the first place. They had been good intentions and even now he couldn’t bring himself to truly regret it; their love had been a big part of getting everyone through the comet. And Snorkmaiden was a lovely girl and they did wonders for another.

Even if Snufkin could admit his feelings for the other, it wouldn’t be right. Snufkin would still want to leave, to be alone. To have adventures unhindered by others. He understood that much of himself as a trait that would hardly ever change. Moomin understood it enough, but he may feel bad still if they were together. After all, weren’t those in a relationship supposed to want to be together? It was one thing to be a wandering friend, but to be a wandering partner? He would have to leave Moomin alone with that sad look in his eyes, and then his time alone may really start to feel lonesome. Could he really be alone then? Feel free?

Besides, he just couldn’t give the things to Moomin like Snorkmaiden could. 

A happy home life, with blissful summer days and warm winter nights. Meals cooked together every night in a cozy kitchen. Then a small Moomin child of their own? 

Snufkin just could not measure up to that. 

As he went through the reasons in his head, the traveler tried convincing himself that his feelings were unneeded. He had to keep them inside or else he could run the risk of losing his friend: even worse, putting a great burden on him. Snufkin could just as easily avoid Moominvalley all together. It would spare him this torment and hopefully lead to the feelings drying up altogether. It would not; the thought itself was enough to twist the mumrik's insides to a point he left his stew half finished. No, despite it all he still wanted to be Moomintrolls friend. He wished to enjoy more days in the sun with him. 

How could he get by like this?

One morning Snufkin awoke to his breath visibly leaving his mouth. The tent rattled as wind battered against it and he realized now was the time to forge forward. He packed quickly, skipping breakfast, and started to walk. And walk. And walk. Night fell but the moon was just bright enough to illuminate his path. His ears, nose and cheeks turned pink in the cold. His legs eventually started to ache from not taking a break. It felt like the world was pulling him back as his path started to slope upwards. Despite the difficulty he pressed on. 

Liking someone so unavailable to him and yet so pressing in his mind. To think he could only end up doing harm one way or another. 

“Come on, come on.” Snufkin gritted his teeth as he looked on ahead. He could make out the top that would take him over the mountain. Reaching the other side would buffet the winds from his face and be the starting point into the south. He could be away from this. 

What then if he just wanted to escape?

Finally as the sun started to peak over the horizon, Snufkin reached the top. He stepped forward and stopped, putting his hand to his head. He took another step then fell. All he could manage was a startled yell as the ground slipped beneath his feet and he started to tumble forward down the slope. His hands grasped but slipped as his body’s momentum took him further. He was sure that once he stopped it would be extremely painful but just as quickly as it happened, his fall came to an abrupt pause. He had landed in a mesh of something he couldn’t make out in the dim light, but it was enough of a ledge that allowed him to lay down on without the threat of falling. The mumrik gasped and took in breaths, letting himself settle. He laid there for quite some time, enough that the sun was in the sky, just about to reach its peak. Finally the traveller sat up to see what had caught him on his fall down...and his eyes were full of white. 

It took a moment for Snufkin to realize it was flowers he was looking at and not a second later he was laughing aloud. He practically felt giddy though perhaps that wasn’t just his laughter affecting him. He took a moment to appreciate the white spangled petals and the little yellow circles between them before finally getting to his feet. He collected a few to keep in his pocket and one behind his ear before slowly making his way down and towards more even ground. Halfway down he made camp and picked some berries for food. The next morning he reached the bottom and followed a tiny stream to a large river to fish for a bigger meal. 

Life was unpredictable, and letting himself get so carried away like he had didn’t help. He took one of the tiny flowers from his pocket and admired it in the light. 

He would return to Moominvalley. His heart may ache and he may certainly end up in some strange situations because of it, but that he couldn’t be certain. What he was certain of was he loved that valley, he loved being around his friends, and he loved Moomin. And there was nothing to keep him from being there for his friend and spending time with him. 

After finally regaining a great deal of strength back, Snufkin faced toward the south. He gave one last look behind him before turning away. He would return, that he knew for certain. The mumrik pulled his harmonica out, tapping it onto his hand. He paused as he noticed the last of the little flowers he had pressed to the top and he smiled. 

What a great gift for his first return to Moominvalley, a tune especially made for his friend. A tune he knew Moomintroll would enjoy; he had plenty of time to work on it after all.

Snufkin put the instrument to his mouth and continued his journey south.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to FurorNocturna and Felicia Amelloides for reviewing/editing this for me!
> 
> I got this idea after watching the 'Comet in Moominvalley' movie and I'm really proud with how it turned out.


End file.
